Surviving Myself A Journey from Suicidal to Happy


Power of Gratitude

I'm sure you have heard of gratitude; being thankful for what you have, but are you aware of how powerful the thought and emotion gratitude can be?

My first online course, "The Power of Gratitude: Learn how to improve the quality of your life with an attitude of gratitude", is based on my in-person gratitude workshop, but it ended up being longer than my live event (over four hours of content!) and it is cheaper than attending the live event too. Plus, you decide when to take it, what speed to go through it, and you'll always have access to it. I decided to launch it at the amazing price of only $37, but I want reward my people with a special deal of only $19. That's right, use the link here and you get this 4 hour+ course for less then twenty bucks!

Act now!

The Power of Gratitude course

"This course is incredible. It really made me stop and think about so many things I take for granted each day. I enjoyed doing the exercises that were included in the course. Your energy and enthusiasm are contagious!" ~Sue

"Loving Andy Grant's wisdom and humor." ~Karen

In this course we will explore gratitude from a spiritual, energetic, and scientific perspective.

Whether you've been keeping a gratitude journal for years, once had a gratitude practice but have stopped, or even if you think the notion of gratitude having any effect on your life is utter nonsense I invite you to join me. You will take part in a number of journaling exercises and learn simple rituals you can use on a daily basis to bring about an attitude of gratitude in your life. I'll share my story later, but let me say up front that everything I'll teach you is something I used to think was a ridiculous waste of time - that is until I tried it.

I will share with you scientific studies from the field of Positive Psychology proving the amazing power of gratitude on your health, happiness, relationships and well being. You don't have to believe I word I say, just be intrigued enough to put some of the practices I'll share with you to work and then decide for yourself. Sign up now!

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Live Through This

Andy and DesA couple of weeks ago a friend referred me to an interesting project,, a site collecting stories from suicide attempt survivors. Stories told in their own words and using their full names. I had seen other sites where people shared their stories of depression and suicide, but it was anonymous, which made it seem like something to be ashamed of; like it was a horrible secret nobody should know about. It's been years since I've gone public with my suicide attempts, so I had no interest in projects that seem to imply it was something to hide.

I love the "Live Through This" project because everybody is being completely open and transparent. There are great shots of beautiful people sharing a bit of their most painful times. I contacted the photographer, and attempt survivor herself, Dese'Rae Stage and told her I was interested in being interviewed. It turns out she had an upcoming speaking engagement in Boston, so on September 30, 2013 I visited the MIT campus (for the first time even though I've lived in Massachusetts all my life) and heard Dese'Rae's presentation on the project. She's interviewed and photographed 50 people so far, and has a list of over 150 more who are willing to share their stories. I'll be doing my interview sometime in early 2014 when she visits Boston again. I may even be speaking at MIT myself next spring.

You can also check out the project on Facebook -

Check out the site and read a few stories. Let me know what you think. Perhaps your view of who attempts suicide will change.

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Meeting Anita Moorjani

Andy and AnitaEarlier this month I had the chance to meet Anita Moorjani, author of Dying To Be Me, a powerful and inspiring memoir chronicling her Near Death Experience and unexplainable healing from terminal cancer. I first heard of Anita in early 2012 while reading Wayne Dyer's excellent book, Wishes Fulfilled. He told a bit of her story and shared her primary message of unconditional self love.

I bought her book a month or so later, but didn't read it. I wanted to. I had time to. But I was scared. Everything I read or heard about Anita and her story resonated so strongly with me, so many of her words matched exactly what I've said in my own speeches that I was scared to read it. I was concerned that I'd be "ripping her off." So I ignored the book for more than a year.

This July I took Anita's online class with Hay House. I loved it. I felt like I could have been teaching so much of it. Still I didn't want to Dying To Be Meread the book. Finally, two days before I was going to see her speak in Hartford CT on Sept 14, 2013, I read her book. I devoured it, inhaled it, and I immediately got that it was the Truth. That is why it resonated so strongly with me, and why so many of her words seemed to be my own. We are both sharing the Truth. I laughed at myself as I understood that I couldn't "rip off" the Truth.

I got to spend a few minutes with Anita after her presentation. Her presence and energy are AMAZING; pure love. I shared with her how I learned the importance of self-love after multiple suicide attempts, and we had a good laugh over my resistance to reading her book. She gave me a kiss and said to keep doing what I'm doing. Deal.

Here is a metaphor she uses in her book and presentations that I really like. I can't recommend her book enough! And you don't have to face your own death to learn these lessons. Enjoy.


FlashlightOnly a Flashlight

How do you see reality?

By Anita Moorjani

Although I try to share my near-death experience, there are no words that can come close to describing its depth and the amount of knowledge that came flooding through. So the best way to express it is through the use of metaphors and analogies. Hopefully, they capture a part of the essence of what I’m trying to convey at least in some small way.

Imagine, if you will, a huge, dark warehouse. You live there with only one flashlight to see by. Everything you know about what’s contained within this enormous space is what you’ve seen by the beam of one small flashlight. Whenever you want to look for something, you may or may not find it, but that doesn’t mean the thing doesn’t exist. It’s there, but you just haven’t shone your light on it. And even when you do, the object you see may be difficult to make out. You may get a fairly clear idea of it, but often you’re left wondering. You can only see what your light is focused on, and only identify that which you already know.

That is what physical life is like. We’re only aware of what we focus our senses on at any given time, and we can only understand what is already familiar.

Next, imagine that one day, someone flicks on a switch. There for the first time, in a sudden burst of brilliance and sound and color, you can see the entire warehouse, and it’s nothing like anything you’d ever imagined. Lights are blinking, flashing, glowing, and shooting sparks of red, yellow, blue, and green. You see colors you don’t recognize, ones you’ve never seen before. Music floods the room with fantastic, kaleidoscopic, surround-sound melodies you’ve never heard before.

Neon signs pulse and boogie in rainbow strobes of cherry, lemon, vermillion, grape, lavender, and gold. Electric toys run on tracks up, down, and around shelves stacked with indescribable colored boxes, packages, papers, pencils, paints, inks, cans of food, packages of multihued candies, bottles of effervescent sodas, chocolates of every possible variety, champagne, and wines from every corner of the world. Skyrockets suddenly explode in starbursts, setting off sparkling flowers, cascades of cold fire, whistling embers, and animations of light.

The vastness, complexity, depth, and breadth of everything going on around you is almost overwhelming. You can’t see all the way to the end of the space, and you know there’s more to it than what you can take in from this torrent that’s tantalizing your senses and emotions. But you do get a strong feeling that you’re actually part of something alive, infinite, and altogether fantastic, that you are part of a large and unfolding tapestry that goes beyond sight and sound.

You understand that what you used to think was your reality was, in fact, hardly a speck within the vast wonder that surrounds you. You can see how all the various parts are interrelated, how they all play off each other, how everything fits. You notice just how many different things there are in the warehouse that you’d never seen, never even dreamed of existing in such splendor and glory of color, sound, and texture—but here they are, along with everything you already knew. And even the objects you were aware of have an entirely new context so that they, too, seem completely new and strangely super-real.

Even when the switch goes back off, nothing can take away your understanding and clarity, the wonder and beauty, or the fabulous aliveness of the experience. Nothing can ever cancel your knowledge of all that exists in the warehouse. You’re now far more aware of what’s there, how to access it, and what’s possible than you ever were with your little flashlight. And you’re left with a sense of awe over everything you experienced in those blindingly lucid moments. Life has taken on a different meaning, and your new experiences moving forward are created from this awareness.

About Anita

Anita MoorjaniAfter her cancer diagnosis in 2002, Anita Moorjani experienced what most of us never have – she “crossed over” and came back to share what she learned. Her remarkable near death experience (NDE) and subsequent healing is one of the most amazing ever recorded. Anita's NDE tremendously changed her perspective on life, and inspired her critically-acclaimed New York Times best-selling book, Dying To Be Me.

Her work is now ingrained with the depths and insights she gained while in the other realm and has propelled her to the forefront of the world of personal transformation and NDE. She is the embodiment of the truth that we all have the inner power and wisdom to overcome even life’s most adverse situations, as she’s the living proof of this possibility.

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Medical Myths

-- Andy Grant, June 26, 2013

When I was growing up and dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, I was told by doctors that depression was "in my genes" and there was nothing I could do about it except to take antidepressants for the rest of my life. Such declarations made me feel more hopeless, flawed and broken. Especially since for years, medication gave me nothing but side effects. If medication has worked for you, awesome. I'm happy for you. If it hasn't, maybe you've fallen victim to some myths too.

I recently had the pleasure of meeting a couple of doctors I wish I'd had when I was growing up. Dr. Kim and Dr. Mario are a husband and wife team going by the name, The Thrive Doctors. They teach the very things I've discovered the hard way, that our thoughts do indeed impact our health and that by changing the way you think about your health, you can improve your wellbeing, vitality, and happiness.

The Thrive Doctors have released a series of videos this week that I think are fantastic!

Check this video out! It completely debunks six medical myths that have been fooling people for years. The truths contained in this video haven't even been released to the public. And, most within the medical community don't even know about them.

Unleashing Physician Within

According to Dr. Mario, "The healing process is about acknowledging that the healing power resides within every human being. Health care providers are really health care reminders." Health Care Reminders, I LOVE that!

It’s so refreshing to hear doctors go beyond old ways of thinking and really get it.

Better health starts with changing your thoughts. Enjoy the video.

Here's to thriving!



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New Workshop and a New Book!

Loving Yourself: A Workshop for Men is Thursday, May 9th 6:30-9:30pm at Heaven on Earth, in Pembroke Ma

No, this isn’t about masturbation. This is a live workshop about what we all truly want and desire most, yet so few men are willing to even speak of it: Love. We will focus on where I believe love starts, self-love.

Ladies, we adore you, but you will not be able to attend. This is an experiential workshop especially for men. The evening will be a combination of guided meditation, lecture, and exercises rooted in energy work and research from Positive Psychology.

Unconditional love is the greatest gift you can give to yourself. Let’s make it happen.
Be sure to bring a notebook and pen for journaling exercises and to capture your “aha” moments.

Thursday, May 9th 6:30-9:30pm. $49. Click here to register.

In other big news...

I've released my latest ebook, Healing & Mystical States Are Just a Breath Away: Personal Experiences with Holotropic Breathwork.

This book is all about my experiences with Holotropic Breathwork - an amazing modality for healing via non-ordinary states of consciousness. The book covers six of my first-hand accounts of breathwork. I dig deep into my journals and share details for the first time. I'm doing this because I want more people to now about the powerful, mind-warping trips they can take merely with their breath.

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There Is No Try

-- Andy Grant, March 24, 2013

I’ve gone a long time not updating this blog and I was thinking to myself this morning that I keep saying I’ll try to … then I stopped. I don’t know about you, but I simply can’t say or think “I’ll try” without Yoda popping into my head and smacking me with some Jedi wisdom.Try Not - Yoda

“No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try.”

So, I wondered, what is the best way to speak and think about something you are trying to do, something you wish to be doing, something you aspire to, but you aren’t doing yet? How can one dare speak of that without invoking Yoda’s wrath? Then it hit me. I’m doing the best I can.

I invite you to replace “I’m trying” with “I’m doing the best I can.”

As for me, I’m doing the best I can with this blog. I launched this site more than 2 1/2 years ago as my declaration to write and publish my autobiography; Surviving Myself. That road led to putting a lot of time and effort into crafting a book proposal and sending it out to agents and publishing houses. I was consistently told, this book is much-needed, but nobody knows who you are so no publisher will touch it. Ouch.

That road also led me to releasing videos, speaking, teaching, and coaching--all of which are things I wasn’t doing at all, not even trying, at the time. One video stands out as my favorite due to the comments it receives. Check them out - people are either thanking me or swearing at me. I'm happy to read them all because it shows they are alive. Launching this site has also resulted in my publishing two eBooks this year. This was a bit of an experiment and it has gone so well that I’ve decided to self-publish more of my lessons from Surviving Myself as short, low-cost eBooks so they can have the greatest reach. The autobiographical elements will come later this year as a larger eBook and physical book as well.

This afternoon I was doing (not trying, but actually doing!) some written exercises from an awesome book a friend of mine wrote called, Woohoo! Wealth. I don’t want to give away the exact exercise but I found myself thinking about what I still wanted to do in my life. In fact, I was in tears over the idea of my life ending today. I was absolutely blown away and once again realized how much my life has changed. For many years I thought I wanted to reach the last day of my life, and fast! But today, the mere thought of today being the end had me full of sadness and regret over all the things I’ve yet to do. Again, not try, but to actually do. One of the big ones was my book. So I wanted to share my updated plan and reignite the fire. Surviving Myself is happening this year. I have a lot more to share with the world, and I know that is why I am here.

You can click this link to get a free copy of Woohoo! Wealth –please do grab yourself one, but pretend it cost you $50 (at least!). I hope that will change your mindset enough to treat the book like you have invested your money into it and that you'll follow that up with your time. It really is a potent book and I don't know how much longer it will be available for free--so do act now! Plus the author, Colin Drake, has had his picture taken with Larry The Lizard, and in my world seals of approval don’t get any bigger than that!

Here are the two eBooks I released recently, 200 Powerful Positive Affirmations and 6 Simple Tips to Put Them to Work and Homer the Hound Dog's Guide to Happiness: 6 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dog! They both made Amazon's best-seller lists and have gotten outstanding reviews from readers. They are available for the Kindle, but you don’t need to own a Kindle device to read them. There are Kindle apps available for just about every computer, phone, tablet and other magical mobile device in existence.

Thanks for sticking with me. I’m doing the best I can.

Be good to yourself.


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Pilgrimage Time

-- Andy Grant, June 21, 2012

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted here. Forgive me, it's been a jam packed year so far - and ALL GOOD. Last month alone I was in three different training programs and next month I start a 10-month Positive Psychology course that I'm very excited about. But all of that pales in comparison to what I've got going on this weekend and how it relates to last fall when I was feeling suicidal.

If you are in New England, join me at my full day energy workshop July 21 - "Mastering Your Personal Power." Have a great summer!

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